Friend or foe?

I'm talking about one of my greatest fears, i know that we shouldn't say what we fear in public, but since i know that no one can get to me through it,i'm saying it aloud.



My scariest monster, my greatest foe, is Time! It's funny how quickly time slips through our fingers! It seems like I finished high school only yesterday! And on the day before, I had my first Dan in Taekwondo (I took it 6 years ago)! Funny, but it rings a wake-up bell.

Looking back, there are lots of things I miss doing, like the ability to jog for a continuous half an hour, or do 500 set-ups! There are lots that I laugh at, like when I read my notes and answers for past exam papers since 8^th grade (I still keep them!), and lots more I regret not doing.

In five months time, I'll be 20 years old. For some people, this is the most beautiful stage in one's life, for me it's a bit scary.. You are not afraid of the darkness, but only of the unknown that's hidden in the darkness! Don't think that I'm pessimistic! No one sees what life holds, so it's dark! It's in human nature to be afraid of what they don't know!

I don't want to go past teens-age. I remember my wish on my 18th birthday, (don't laugh now), I wished that time would stop, and I wouldn't have to grow any older! "I wish I can go back in time!"

A couple of days ago, my friend turned 22, we had a "surprise" party for her, and asked her how it felt to be 22 years old! My answer to that question is the same since 3 years… I'M GETTING OLD!

i'm now in my second year at uni,so i sometimes get to play the "i don't know this thing yet" role and ask my older friends to explain something to me, i enjoy it when they do that, and say:"be careful to this...this is important later...you won't need this after this course..this professor will be a nightmare if you take the course with him"..but next year,i won't be able to do this anymore :( .i'm supposed to have better understanding to everything next year.

But if I think about it in a different point of view, life always has new challenges and surprises to offer. I don't know what it holds, true, but it's all part of getting closer and closer to become myself! I wouldn't have been studying Electrical Engineering if I stopped at 18! :P I wouldn't have meet my great friends at uni! I wouldn't have known what it meant to be my own leader, to experience what it meant to have full responsibility of my actions and my words.

When I was in Tawjihi, I used to say: "I can't wait to grow up! I can't wait to finish with this!" but I didn't realize that in saying so, I'm giving up on a beautiful stage in my life.

Whenever I used to say:" I'll do this later", I didn't realize till recently, that there might not be any (later). Any minute that passes is not coming back, and life is made by accumulating minutes. If I don't do what I do now perfectly, I won't do it later, coz now I can and I'm able, later I might not can any more, I might not be able any more!